


Miss You Much (Make You Mine)

by ChaTianShi



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Panic Attacks, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-05-05 02:10:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5356979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaTianShi/pseuds/ChaTianShi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Junmyeon wished he could wear Yixing's kisses on his neck where everyone could see; wished he could have some small indication that what they had was real, that they were still together, even when they were apart. But he didn't know how to ask, and the thought of rejection terrified him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miss You Much (Make You Mine)

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and is no way intended to be accurate descriptions of any EXO members and other depicted persons, places, things, or events. They are solely the products of imagination and should be strictly regarded as such.
> 
> Title from the song 'MYM' by Zhang Yixing.

Junmyeon was not an inherently jealous or possessive person, especially when it came to his relationships with other people. He was a giver, not a taker. He liked to let people seek him out when they needed him, when he knew he was wanted. His problem lied in the fact that there was really only one person he currently wished would desire his company, and that person was Zhang Yixing.

Him and Yixing weren't...a couple. He had made that very clear at the beginning, and, either way, it was a little difficult to be a couple under their circumstances. But they did have something different to what he shared with the other members, and after all this time Junmyeon found it difficult not to label it as _exclusive_ in his head. He wondered, however, if Yixing suffered from this at all, and it left him feeling rather anxious.

Yixing was affectionate, it was one of the things Junmyeon loved about him, but he was affectionate with _everyone._ And sometimes when they hadn't seen each other for so long, he just wanted Yixing to touch _him,_ and he wanted to hug him and press them together when the others weren't watching. He knew it wasn't right of him to feel so negative and possessive; especially when they were so often apart now, but his own mind was relentless. Sometimes it felt like the absence was slowly chipping away at him; he really missed Yixing a lot, too much, and when their group was finally together again, it tended to make him a little desperate.

He'd hardly had a moment alone with Yixing since he'd returned from China and he knew that Yixing had just completed his giant birthday event. He wanted to congratulate him properly, show him how proud he was, and he also wanted to ravish him to pieces because he was starved for Yixing-flavoured affection, and he selfishly hoped that Yixing was anxious to spend time with him as well. 

The dome concert was insanely full and Junmyeon felt drunk on dance-adrenaline and nerves. Amidst a sea of screaming fans, they were spinning a wheel and playing silly games. Junmyeon lost track of the little tasks they were given to do, relying on Baekhyun as the MC to charm the audience and keep them laughing. Yixing was called out and Junmyeon watched as he went to perform a routine from one of his new songs. Entranced with his fluid moments, Junmyeon was shaken out of his passivity when he saw Yixing suddenly on his knees and snapping his hips downwards as the audience roared their encouragement. Junmyeon was on him in a flash, pulling Yixing up, muttering apologies as the others asked confused questions. Yixing's innocent expression made Junmyeon laugh nervously, he was clearly trying to drive Junmyeon round the bend. They agreed that without the music, the choreography looked rather mature to say the least. Junmyeon tried not to sweat any more than he already was. 

Yixing took to the stage again, this time singing along as he ran through the movements. Junmyeon returned to his place at the side, watching Yixing with an eagle eye and ready to jump in at a moment's notice. His services were required again as Yixing went even further, spreading his knees apart as his body undulated in a perfectly fluid line and he thrusted at the floor. Junmyeon almost slipped in his hurry to bring a stop to Yixing's movements. He hoped he wasn't overreacting because the others were also throwing out amused and scandalised looks. Yixing, in contrast, seemed purposefully blank. Junmyeon led him back to his seat with a distinct squeeze to his arm. They would be talking about this later.

He cornered Yixing when they'd filed off the stage finally, buzzing with excitement despite being mostly dead on their feet. He handed Yixing a water bottle and they both gulped the liquid down until they were panting for breath. 

Yixing had a thin layer of sweat glistening across his face and neck, and when the side of his mouth pulled up in a ridiculous smirk, Junmyeon felt suddenly overwhelmed.

"What were you doing?" He asked directly.

Yixing smiled wider, dimple making itself known while he ran a hand through his hair. "What do you mean? We did well out there."

Junmyeon gripped his wrist. "Were you trying to tease me on purpose?" He ground out.

The mischievous glint in Yixing's eyes was answer enough. "I've missed you." Yixing said softly, entwining their fingers. 

Junmyeon wanted to slide his hands underneath that jumper and pull it off. They were closer than they'd been in weeks. Junmyeon was desperate for him, he couldn't even hide it. He wanted to feel Yixing's hips roll against him. They were breathing into each other's mouths, having a silent conversation, internally debating whether they could get away with doing anything here. 

Eventually Junmyeon's logical side gave in because he couldn't help but press their lips together, his hand coming up to slide around the nape of Yixing's neck. He pulled Yixing impossibly close, and knew Yixing was not entirely unaffected when he let out a light breathy sound, before letting Junmyeon's tongue enter his mouth. He could get lost in moments like this. Yixing could pause time.

A heavy sound nearby had them jumping apart, Junmyeon frozen like he'd been caught robbing a bank and Yixing not much better. They shuffled away, both eager not to have the day ruined by someone seeing them. When they got back to the dorms, Junmyeon headed straight for the bathroom to calm down, Yixing having been trailing his pretty fingers along Junmyeon's thigh for the entire ride there.

Junmyeon told Jongdae to room with Sehun so he could catch up with Yixing. Jongdae agreed with a small nod, a slight smile crawling up his face. Junmyeon knew the members were pretty suspicious about what went on between him and Yixing, but they hadn't yet confronted him about it, or questioned him directly, so he let them have their sneaky smiles and dorm-gossip. 

By the time he'd washed up and started heading to Yixing's room, the hot buzz in his gut had mostly worn down and he was left with a simple but strong desire to wrap Yixing in his arms and tell him to never leave again. It was stupid, he knew, and he would never voice it aloud, but he wanted to let Yixing know, somehow, that it genuinely hurt to be away from him for so long. He loved seeing Yixing do what he enjoyed, loved seeing him perform and get recognition so the rest of the world could know how wonderful he was; Junmyeon just wishes it didn't require them to be so far apart. 

If his schedules allowed it, he would follow Yixing back to China and promote with him. He wouldn't have to carry the burden alone and they would be together, and it wouldn't matter who Yixing draped all over during the day, because at night, Junmyeon could pull him into his arms and kiss him breathless. 

Yixing was quietly tapping away at his phone when Junmyeon entered the room. He walked over to the bed, pausing, before Yixing threw out a leg, hooked it behind Junmyeon's knees, and pulled him down. Junmyeon landed on top of his attacker who was wearing a silly grin. 

"You took a long time, _hyung_." He purred, because he knew Junmyeon liked it when he called him that in private, and it turned him on whether he wanted it to or not. There was just something so satisfying about hearing the word tumble from Yixing's lips after so long, he liked the way it made him feel like looking after Yixing more than he already tried to. 

"I'm sorry. I got lost in my head." Junmyeon said, brushing a hand across Yixing's cheek and knowing that no matter how many times he tried to commit these moments to memory, it wouldn't soften the blow when Yixing left again.

"You're so melancholy... I thought I got you all excited." Yixing mouthed against his jaw.

"I'm not- I mean, you did. I'm sorry-"

"Hey. What's up? Stop apologising... I feel like you're getting ready to tell me something bad." Yixing's eyes were wide and concerned as they stared up at him. Junmyeon was lost for words. " _Are_ you going to tell me something bad?" 

Junmyeon wanted to hit himself for messing this up so well. They hardly ever got to spend time like this anymore and he was already selfishly ruining it. 

He kissed Yixing in lieu of an answer, a thrill shooting through him as he felt two hands slide down his body and grip his hips firmly. He let his mouth move down to Yixing's sensitive neck, breathing against it and peppering light kisses against the skin until Yixing's chest was heaving. 

"Junmyeon..." He said roughly, "can I..." He dragged his fingertips down Junmyeon's ass and they both hummed as Junmyeon started sucking at Yixing's neck. 

"Yes, please." He murmured. "I want to feel you, I've missed you so much..." He trailed off before he started saying things he shouldn't. 

Yixing chose that moment to roll his hips upwards, letting Junmyeon enjoy the feeling of his cock already half-hard, and Junmyeon realised, belatedly, that maybe Yixing was just as starved as he was. 

Junmyeon was desperate to rid them of their thin pyjama shirts and Yixing flipped them over so he could strip them both nicely. Delicate hands trailed down Junmyeon's abdomen and he appreciated Yixing's hungry eyes as he looked at him. Junmyeon worked hard on his body and he was proud of it, not least of all when Yixing looked like he wanted to lick him from the bottom to the top. He pressed hot kisses against Junmyeon's stomach and Junmyeon curled a hand into soft black hair and resisted the urge to push him further down. 

Yixing travelled there anyway, pulling Junmyeon's underwear down with his teeth, while Junmyeon focused on not getting too hot too early. His libido had been suffering without Yixing around and he honesty didn't even know how long he'd be able to last. 

Junmyeon stifled a groan at the first feeling of Yixing's mouth against his cock. He was usually quiet in bed, they had to be out of necessity, but he was feeling a strange urge to just forget it and let go. He wanted to let Yixing know how much he enjoyed it, how much he needed him. 

Yixing's tongue dragged a firm line from the base to the head of his cock, Junmyeon feeling his throat go dry at the image of Yixing's lips so nicely stretched around him. Yixing batted his eyelashes before swirling his tongue and sucking hard, unforgiving and incredible. He bobbed his head, swallowing expertly, and Junmyeon's head fell back onto the bed. He loved Yixing's mouth.

"Yixing, baby." He sighed, his fingers combing through Yixing's hair as he threatened to make Junmyeon moan properly. "My baby, my baby. You're so good."

Yixing hummed in satisfaction, and Junmyeon almost lost it. His eyes were shut tight as he tried to hold back from reaching the edge so quickly. Yixing's hand came to slide up his body, trailing over his abdomen, tracing the muscles, and then further up across his chest to brush his nipples. 

He moaned low in his throat and Yixing seemed spurred on by the sound. Yixing's other hand twisted around the bottom of his cock as he was sucked into the wet heat of that mouth again and again, his hips begging to thrust upwards, his hand gripping tighter in Yixing's hair.

"Stop, I'm gonna... I'm gonna..." He choked out. But Yixing didn't stop, he dragged his tongue just under the head, massaging before bobbing his head again and hollowing his cheeks as he drew back up. 

Junmyeon was gone, his hips stuttering as he found his release. Yixing didn't stop, milking the waves of pleasure out of him until he was shaking on the bed, and still he continued. Junmyeon was jerking under the attention, too sensitive, unable to breath. Yixing ripped broken moans from him as he felt like he was coming over and over, Yixing's tongue forcing the aftershocks to pulse through his body. 

Only when he started to whine, did Yixing finally let him go, smiling lazily and shooting up to kiss him. Junmyeon tasted himself as his tongue found it's way into Yixing's mouth again, but he could hardly complain. "You've destroyed me." He breathed.

"Don't be so dramatic." Yixing chuckled back. "I can wait until you're ready again."

"What if I can't do it?"

"You can." Yixing smirked at him before pulling Junmyeon's hand to rest over his own bulge, damp where he was leaking into his underwear. "Nice, hyung?"

Junmyeon's mouth was dry. "Very nice."

"There's something I've been thinking about doing." Yixing paused. "With you. I mean, can I try something?"

Junmyeon was nodding before he even knew what it was; he didn't care. Floppy and pliant as he was, Yixing positioned him on his side. He waited as he heard Yixing locate the bottle to lube himself up, before he returned, pressing up against Junmyeon's back, kissing the nape of his neck as his cock rubbed against Junmyeon's ass. Yixing's mouth was at his ear. "I want to fuck your thighs, can I?" He breathed hotly, and Junmyeon thought he was probably going to replay that in his mind forever. 

He nodded ferociously, not trusting his voice and biting down on his own lip as Yixing pushed between his legs, cock sliding along his perineum and under his sack. He could feel his own cock twitching, unable to deny how hot it was, and he could hear Yixing's breath catching as he pulled out again. 

"How much did you think of this?" Junmyeon managed to ask.

Yixing spoke into the skin between neck and shoulder. "So much. I always think of you when I'm alone, hyung." He pushed back in, smothering his own moan by pressing his face into Junmyeon. "You're so much better than my imagination."

Junmyeon squeezed his legs together as Yixing continued to thrust against him. "Am I truly?"

Yixing let out a little whine. "Myeonnie, you know you are. No one else could come close." 

Junmyeon couldn't help it, his eyes had filled with tears and he was blinking them away furiously, knowing he looked terrible when he cried and not wanting to spoil the mood. He was just so desperate for approval, for open acknowledgement that Yixing wanted him, and only him. He grabbed the hand pressed against his hip and pulled it up to kiss the palm delicately. 

Yixing hummed, slowing down and decorating Junmyeon's neck with wet presses of his lips. "Are you sure you're okay?" He said softly.

"More than okay." Junmyeon replied, tensing the muscles in his thighs and enjoyed the way that Yixing froze against him. He was half hard again already and he wanted Yixing inside him and he didn't want him to leave ever, but he couldn't say that last part.

"I want you inside me, please, Yixing-ah." 

Yixing grunted his approval, drawing back and climbing on top of Junmyeon again. "You're so beautiful, breathless like this, hot and wet, for me, I love it," Yixing spoke against his mouth, almost musing to himself. "I love it, I love it..."  

Junmyeon swallowed every word, storing them deep inside himself for when he would need to remember them again. He tugged Yixing's hand downwards and Yixing smiled. "Don't worry, hyung, I've got it."

Conjuring the lube from wherever he'd left it, Junmyeon watched as Yixing handed it to him. "Can I watch you?" He said, and Junmyeon was hesitant because he'd never fingered himself with an audience, but the hopeful look on Yixing's face was enough to make him want to do anything. He coated his fingers and trailed them down past his cock and over his rim, circling it gently before closing his eyes and pushing in with one. He worked fast, listening to the sound of Yixing's shallow breaths as he watched. 

He felt a hand near his and he opened his eyes, knowing what Yixing wanted to do, and nodding at him as he tried to relax. Yixing started to slide a wet finger alongside two of Junmyeon's and Junmyeon was panting. Yixing leant down to kiss his stomach again, edging his finger towards the spot Junmyeon had been avoiding. 

He shook a little when they found it together, Yixing sucking a bruise onto Junmyeon's abdomen, and Junmyeon didn't even have the heart to tell him to stop; to tell him that people constantly pulled up his shirt and someone was going to see it. He truly wanted Yixing to mark him everywhere, he wished he could wear Yixing's kisses on his neck where everyone could see. He wished he could mark Yixing back; wished he could have some small indication that what they had was real, that they were still together, even when they were apart. But he didn't know how to ask, and the mere thought of rejection terrified him.

Yixing pulled both their hands out, regarding Junmyeon quietly. "Hyung..." Yixing nuzzled his way up Junmyeon's body. "Please, I know there's something wrong." He planted a garden of kisses along Junmyeon's collarbones. "Please...let me help."

"You are." Junmyeon choked out. "You are helping." 

"Okay." Yixing breathed, coming up to cradle Junmyeon's face in his hands and stare into him. Yixing's brows drew together as he caught the tears that suddenly fell from the corners of Junmyeon's eyes. He couldn't stop them. Yixing looked helpless. "Junmyeon-"

"You're my baby." Junmyeon breathed, barely audible. 

Yixing nodded, his brow scrunched up as if it was painful for him too. "Your baby. Junmyeon."

They stared at each other, Yixing searching and Junmyeon desperately hoping he'd find something. "I'm sorry," Yixing said finally, and Junmyeon shook his head because that was the last thing he'd wanted to hear. 

"Please, no, I'm sorry. Yixing-ah, let's just... Let's just go back... Pretend I didn't- Pretend I'm not-" 

Yixing pressed a light kiss to his cheek, and then to his lips, stroking his hair. "I'm not going to make love to you while you're like this; you're upset, you need to tell me what's wrong."

Junmyeon felt like he was hyperventilating. 

"Do you need me to say something? To do something? I'll do whatever you want. Junmyeon... Please."

His heart felt like it was beating it's way out of his chest, his lungs unable to take in enough air. Yixing's eyes grew wide, and he rolled off Junmyeon immediately, pulling him up into a sitting position. "Hey, hey, hey, it's alright. Junmyeon, it's okay, whatever it is, it's alright, you can tell me, you know you can tell me anything."

Junmyeon was clinging to Yixing like he'd fall apart if he let go. Was he having a panic attack? His tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth. He wanted to cry. He'd ruined everything now. He'd ruined their time together, he was never going to keep Yixing this way, he was going to lose him like this.

"Knowing you, you're probably blaming yourself for something stupid, so stop, okay, we're in this together, I know I've been away for a long time, I know I've missed things, missed parts of your life, missed you, but we have this. We have this. Just, just listen to my voice, okay? There's nothing you could tell me that we couldn't figure out together. I'm here for you, we're _all_ here for you, you're never alone."

Junmyeon closes his eyes, focusing on the soft, but firm tones of Yixing's voice. He was enraptured, his body shaking as Yixing held him.

"I'm your baby, Junmyeon, I'm your baby." Yixing pressed kisses to his hairline, stroking his back gently. "Do you know, all I could think about when I was on the plane here was how much I wanted to hold you. How much I wanted to hear one of your cheesy jokes. Every night I would wonder if you were thinking about me, or if you were busy with other people, or if I should try and call you..."

Junmyeon chokes on a breath. "I'm always thinking about you."

Yixing presses a kiss to his throat as if he's willing out more words. "Thank you. So what are you thinking about now?"

Junmyeon wished he were stronger, wished he could keep it together but he'd never truly been just a leader to Yixing, because Yixing found it easy to crawl under his skin and enter his bloodstream. Junmyeon didn't want to spoil anything. This thing they had... This mutually beneficial relationship. 

His hands were gripping Yixing's wrists as he looked him in the eyes. "What are we?" He asked, anxiety making him shake. "Because I love you. I've loved you for a long time, and even if you don't, I don't know if I can stop-" His voice caught in his throat and he burst into tears, unable to stop apologising between breaths.

Yixing looked like he was beyond relief, and he held him, humming a Chinese ballad until Junmyeon had calmed down a little, hanging onto Yixing and the fact that he hadn't run away. "Mm, I love you too." Yixing replied, a smile in his voice.

Junmyeon felt like his ears were ringing. He couldn't understand; how could he say it so easily? Was Yixing saying it to make him happy? He drew back, searching Yixing's face for something. "You- Do you mean it? Do you mean it the same way?" He hiccoughed. 

Yixing looked exasperated. "Of course. Is this why you're upset? You thought...I didn't...love you?" He gathered Junmyeon in his arms again. "Oh, Junmyeon, do you think I'm made of stone? How do you think I could resist you?" Yixing kissed him on the cheek harshly, almost reprimanding.

Junmyeon's heart was having trouble processing. "It's not just- it's not just that, I want something that's impossible."

Yixing nuzzled his ear. "Nothing's impossible, hyung."

"I want to stay with you." Junmyeon felt it now more than ever. "I can't be- I don't want to be apart from you. Yixing-ah. You're going to leave. I don't know how long it will be before I see you again. I know it's selfish, to complain about being lonely when you're the one who's there alone, but-" He paused, squeezing Yixing closer to him. Was it wrong to want to keep him? "I want you to achieve you dreams, and you're doing so well, but sometimes I think... What we have... If you wanted to stop it, if you didn't want to deal with this, keeping secrets, hardly seeing each other, then- Then you need to tell me now."

Junmyeon's entire body was tense like a bowstring. He'd meant what he said, but he didn't want to hold Yixing back. He wished Yixing a beautiful future,and if it wasn't with him, he could survive. He would if it meant Yixing was happy.

"Oh, Junmyeon." Yixing sighed against his ear. "Even at the beginning, when _you_ told _me_ it was just about sex, and I told you I understood. I was lying. I knew that I already felt too much. I used to spend time preparing myself for the moment when you'd eventually tell me it was over; that you'd found someone you liked."

Junmyeon was silent as Yixing traced along the side of his body with the tips of his fingers. 

"Over time, I thought maybe you were starting to feel the same way... But aiyo, you scared me tonight, Myeonnie. I thought you were trying to end this with me."

"Never." Junmyeon whispered before he grew too embarrassed to say it. 

"Mm," Yixing hummed. "I wish you could come back with me."

"I want to." Junmyeon whined a little, his body starting to relax. "But if I can't, can you... Can you text me whenever you're free? I know we don't usually keep in touch, it's hard for you to remember-"

"Yes, I will. I'll call you."

"Ah, we're a mess." Junmyeon said, and they were silent before relief-fuelled adrenaline made him start to chuckle.

Little giggles rose out of Yixing also and Junmyeon kissed his dimples. "I love you so much."

"And I love you, silly Junmyeon." Yixing spoke against his face. "Will you let me show you how much?"

"Come on then." Junmyeon said, ignoring the 'silly' for now as his hand found its way to Yixing's cock. He stroked rhythmically, desperate to make Yixing hard again. Yixing's head was buried in Junmyeon's neck as he breathed heavily.

Pushing Yixing onto his back, Junmyeon leaned down over his slowly growing arousal, hot breath grazing the tip before taking the head into his mouth. He hummed around it, making Yixing release a little desperate sound.

Junmyeon wasn't as good at it as Yixing was, which was the main reason he didn't do this often, but he hoped his enthusiasm made up for it. Yixing's cock was really too long for Junmyeon and so he was mostly jerking him off as he massaged the head with his tongue. Yixing didn't seem to mind as Junmyeon could feel the tension in his thighs as he resisted the urge to thrust upwards. Junmyeon pressed a hand to his hip mercifully, then pulled off to ghost his lips over Yixing's inner thigh. "Can I?"

Yixing had been rather firm about having no marks in the past, and Junmyeon wondered if it had been because of his own initial insistence that their relationship wasn't romantic. Junmyeon tried not to depress himself again. He really wanted to leave something there, even something temporary. Yixing moaned, "yes, do it."

Junmyeon pressed his mouth to the tender part of Yixing's thigh, where it met his groin, continuing to pull on Yixing's cock with the tight ring of his hand, listening to him breathe. He sucked the proof of their time together into the pale skin, kissed it like a promise when he was done. 

"Hyung," Yixing whimpered. "Can I fuck you now? Please, I want to feel you."

Junmyeon crawled up Yixing's body, studying the small drips of sweat that decorated his forehead, the red flush covering his cheeks and neck. Yixing smirked at him, "do I have something on my face?" 

"Yes; me." Junmyeon grinned before kissing his mouth. He felt Yixing groan.

"I regret what I said about the cheesy jokes. I don't miss them at all." 

Junmyeon bit his lower lip. "I'm going to ride you, would you like that, baby?"

Yixing smiled ridiculously, with his tongue poking out between his teeth. "Maybe."

Junmyeon raised his eyebrows and made sure to drag his ass along the line of Yixing's cock. 

"Yes, yes, please." Yixing laughed, his hips stuttering upwards.

Junmyeon had to stretch over Yixing in order to reach for the condom Yixing had left out on the bedside table. He rolled it onto Yixing's cock, before lining them both up. He teased the head in just a little to watch Yixing's mouth open in a little 'o' before sinking down. Junmyeon felt like the breath had been knocked out of him, and his chest heaved. Yixing's eyes were wide, and he was biting his lip which Junmyeon was wholly against because it made him look far too attractive. 

"Are you alright?" Yixing panted, his chest starting to become a blotchy red.  

Junmyeon laughed, raising his eyebrows. "Are _you_?"

"Don't be mean. You just feel too good." 

Junmyeon's ego was pretty satisfied with that, particularly when Yixing took that moment to stroke a hand down his chest and over his abdomen. He paused at Junmyeon's hips.

"Hyung..." Yixing said, his pelvis doing an impatient little wiggle.

Junmyeon nodded, lifting himself up almost drawing all the way off, before dropping back down. Yixing moaned brazenly. They moved quickly after that, swept up in each other, drowning in the heat and the adrenaline of confession. Junmyeon wondered if it made sense that he couldn't always be with Yixing; to have something this good all the time would have to be some sort of miracle. Junmyeon let Yixing flip them over, distantly realising he'd stopped muffling his moans and wondering what the others would think.

Yixing was always full of kisses, sometimes sweet, little presses of affection, and sometimes fierce, wet attacks on Junmyeon's skin; but Junmyeon always loved Yixing's mouth. He didn't know if he had ever told him.

Yixing alternated between slow, expert rolls of his hips, and powerful thrusts that made Junmyeon catch his breath. He still hadn't truly processed that Yixing returned what he felt; wasn't sure that he deserved what Yixing gave sometimes.

"How do you manage to...get lost in your head...when I'm literally inside you...right now." Yixing partly laughed into his ear. Junmyeon blushed. 

"It's not like I'm thinking about laundry! I'm just thinking about us." 

"Mm, me too. I'm thinking about how great your ass is. And how we make a perfect couple."

Junmyeon's cheeks were burning. Couple. He swallowed thickly. 

"You like that, hyung?"

Junmyeon tried to hide his face with his hands but Yixing was having none of it. He pulled Junmyeon's hands away, entwining their fingers and kissing Junmyeon's hot cheeks. 

"We make a hot couple." Yixing smiled at him.

"Hush." Junmyeon said, fighting a grin.

"It's okay, you're responsible for most of the hot part." Yixing said, his tongue poking out cutely as he snapped his hips forward, and Junmyeon was too confused by the image to reply.

"I want you to come for me." He said, enjoying the way Yixing's breath hitched as he continued to thrust. Junmyeon cock was leaking on his stomach, neither of them paying it any attention as Yixing knew Junmyeon often enjoyed coming without being touched. Yixing was a perfectionist, and at this point, having sex with Junmyeon was something he'd grown incredibly skilled at.

Junmyeon moaned as Yixing began to press against his prostate with every thrust, lethally driving him closer and closer to the edge. "Baby."

"Mm?" Yixing's rhythm was starting to falter.

Junmyeon pulled him down closer, lips brushing. "I love you. Come on, come for me, baby."

Yixing grunted, hips speeding up suddenly before his body froze. Junmyeon came with Yixing's little whimpers in his mouth, clenching around Yixing and breathing out a groan himself. "Xing-ahhh..." Yixing's orgasms were always silent, but his expressions were marvellous. 

They were still for a while, catching their breath, Junmyeon zoning out again as he focused on Yixing's soft breath against his neck. He didn't want to say goodbye to Yixing, but at least it wasn't goodbye forever. A part of him wished they could exist like this, that they could both escape, find somewhere beautiful to live, and where he would spend lazy afternoons with Yixing's tongue in his mouth. 

But it was a small fantasy. He couldn't leave their members; his big family. He couldn't take Yixing away from music, what he loved. In reality, it was unthinkable.

Yixing pulled out of him and Junmyeon shivered. Yixing rolled off the bed, presumably disposing of the condom and searching for something to clean them up. He returned with tissues and Junmyeon made a petulant sound. He was going to be sticky.

"We can shower in the morning," Yixing told him, with a little smirk, wiping Junmyeon's stomach.

"Don't go to sleep, I want to cuddle you." Yixing said suddenly, as he went to find underwear. "Perhaps I should invest in a Suho plushie for when I'm in China." 

"I think Sehun has one."

"Will he mind if I borrow it?"

"Probably. But he'll pretend he doesn't." Yixing laughed, chucking some underwear at Junmyeon, along with a pair of pyjama bottoms. "Where's my shirt?" Junmyeon questioned as Yixing returned to the bed in full pyjamas.

"You don't need one." He said cutely, watching Junmyeon get dressed.

"What, why? You've got one."

Yixing pulled him back onto the bed. He splayed a hand over Junmyeon's chest as he curled around behind him. "Because I want to make the most of this." He said, voice deep next to Junmyeon's ear.

Junmyeon grinned happily. "I love you. I'm going to miss you so much."

Yixing kissed the nape of his neck. "I'm never truly apart from you. Besides, I... told Jongdae about us. It wasn't that long ago, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you but, it was _about_ you. I just mean, he knows how I feel about you, but not the other way around because I didn't know that either. Until tonight." He laughed a little. "I just mean, you can talk to him. If you need someone. So you don't have to keep it inside."

Junmyeon mulled it over quietly. "Are you sure he doesn't..."

"He doesn't care about that. And he basically already knew. I talk in my sleep, apparently."

Junmyeon laughed. "Oh my."

"Most, if not all, of them know, Junmyeon. We're not that subtle." Yixing smiled against his skin. 

"They don't care?"

"Not about what you're thinking. They just...love us. Nothing's changed."

He placed a hand over Yixing's. "Thank you. I will, I'll talk to Jongdae. I'll talk to all of them. They should know."

"Yes, I'd like that. You know...Jongdae told me Jongin had been really interested in what was going on between us."

"Jongin? He had a problem with it?"

"Mm, I don't think so. Jongdae said he thinks Jongin likes someone." 

"Wow. Maybe we really do need to talk to them."

Yixing yawned. "Leader-talk, not Yixing-talk."

"I think the Leader and CEO Zhang both have to talk."

Yixing nibbled his shoulder. "Don't call me that." 

"You prefer _my baby?_ " Junmyeon joked. Then he turned around to kiss Yixing once more. "You've earned a big title now."

"I'll stick with being your baby."

Junmyeon felt a warmth cover him like a blanket. His eyes fluttered shut and he was floating on air. He had never felt more perfect than he did right then. Outside of this room, he had his family, he had the promise of acceptance, and he still had Yixing. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> okay, I did not intend for this to be as long as it is. I was like ooh let's write some casual smut where junmyeon is hot for yixing after that little thrust dance he did, but OH NO, suddenly there was feelings, and history, and angst and I don't even know tbh
> 
> pretty sure this fic is like the definition of undiscovered daddy kink for junmyeon, but I kinda hate the word 'daddy' so
> 
> 9% of this fic is the word yixing
> 
> all mistakes are mine (sorry if there's a ton of them)


End file.
